Unladylike

Recently, when I went to pray in the nurse’s room, the cleaner lady looked inside the room and asked if there was a guy in the room. She looked all ready to scold the terrible fellow who dared to be in a place where he wasn’t supposed to be. There wasn’t any guy. I just smiled and said that no guy was around. Feeling sheepish, she went away. It was my shoes that were outside the door.

It happened again in another prayer room. A suspicious medical attendant checked on us to make sure that no guy had entered the room. Again, I could only smile.

Some of my friends have commented on my unfeminine choice of shoes. After those two incidents, I feel that I need to justify my preference in the shoes I wear.

I have friends who love buying shoes. It’s easy from them because most of the shoes sold are tailored for slender and long feet. For those with broad and flat feet, we don’t have many choices. I love new shoes too but it’s hard for me to buy comfortable ones.

I used to wonder why my feet always hurt so much when I stood for long hours. Apparently I have pes planus (flat feet). It means that the medial and lateral arches of my feet are incapable of supporting my body while standing (berat sangat kot). Prolong standing would make my feet ache so much that stepping on them would be very, very painful afterwards. I have always bought shoes that could fit paddings inside so that they would soften the steps I take and decrease the pressure on them. I like sport shoes because they are very comfortable to walk in but I have to find one that can pass off as a formal shoe that looks smart yet doesn’t look like I just came back from a jog or a sports game.

During my electives, my canvas shoes were worn out and had holes in them. I liked them a lot because they were so comfortable. They were neither expensive nor very pretty but I cared more for comfort than looks. They went thru my wonderful year 4 postings with me.

I knew that I had better get new ones so that I won’t appear very shabby at the hospital. Before doing my attachment at HUKM, I bought a pair of moderately expensive new shoes with kak yung. Since I had a history of buying a pair of loose shoes and felt uncomfortable walking in them because pebbles kept going in and they felt like they would slip off any time, this time, I bought a pair exactly my size but rather tight.

After 2 days of wearing the shoes, they were still very tight. The long hours of standing at the hospital, following ward rounds and walking about in those shoes made my feet ache terribly and I was longing to sit down and rest. I couldn’t put any paddings in them to cushion the impact of walking as there was no extra space in the shoes.

One night, me and timah went to a nearby Tesco and I was drawn to a shoe shop. Kedai biasa je but I was intrigued to look at the shoes. I found a pair (at the guy’s section) that nearly fit my criteria and was quite cheap so I bought it on impulse and immediately wore it after that.

Although my feet still ache on prolonged standing, the impact is less and my feet feel much better.

So should I care about what other people think about my shoes?

Definitely not! I love my own feet much more.