i had my nose and throat scoped today at the ENT clinic.

i've wanted to have it done ages ago but tak sempat nak pergi. waktu posting hari tuh segan nak mintak.

the cocaine nasal spray wasn't too bad but the fibreoptic tube was quite painful. terrer jugak pakcik2 and makcik2 yang tak bergerak and komplen pun having it done on them.

my friends in the current ENT posting sume beria nak offer buatkan. i bagi a few of them insert the tube superficially je. it's a good thing dr kahairi did the deeper one. tu pun sakit bukan main lagi. i'm a terrible patient. my eyes became teary sebab tahan sakit and discomfort.

my left inferior nasal turbinate was hypertrophied and slightly deviated to the right side. tu yang ada difficulty in breathing thru my nose alone mase jogging or anything that requires increased effort thus necessitating more oxygen.

dr kahairi said that i may have a mild form of allergic rhinitis. i think he's wrong.

all this while, i thought i didn't have it because i took ayah's and hammad's as symptoms as my benchmark. i get rhinorrhea if i eat anything pedas, when i'm ngantuk and when i excercise. biasalah tu kan. ayah and hammad have nasal blockage every morning.

i still don't think i have allergic rhinitis but i'll try the nasonex and clarityne that the dr gave me.

owh, i have my anaesthesiology test tomorrow. i hope i can answer well inshaAllah.

my trip to hukm

last weekend, my friends and i participated in a final year pro revision programme called Halaqah Ibnu Sina in HUKM organised by PPIM.

although we're still in our 4th year but the speakers were interesting and we had time on our hands. since there was no accomodation provided, we stayed at sibah's house in keramat.

in short, i found some of the talks very beneficial like Prof Raymond's but others induced somnolence (especially one surgeon who presented macam nak tak nak je). most of the speakers focused on the UKM students so macam one-sided jugak. it's supposed to be open for students from all national med schools but the circumstances weren't very welcoming.

from HUKM, kitorang sesat sket going back to sibah's house so we detoured to JUSCO hehe..

on saturday night, we decided to not attend Prof Muhaya's talk (terase rugi jugak but rase macam not worth the effort to go all the way to hukm for just a 1-hr talk) and decided to go to taman tasik titiwangsa instead. i just wanted to see my sister, hafizah. alang2 dah sampai situ, we went on the 'Eye on Malaysia' ferris wheel. tak nampak the whole of KL pun apetah lagi malaysia. owh, we bumped into one of our surgeons there, Mr Khadri and his kids.

then, we went to Saidat's house in Bangi and ate satay kajang. we were all exhausted jadi tak dapat appreciate the food pun. everyone ate dengan mata kuyu je.

nope, u do not have blurring of vision... and yes, the photo is not of good quality

in the Eye on Malaysia cubicle
(takut jugak mule2 but after the 5th round dah tak tau nak tengok ape)

suke hati je sibah tido

i met up with kak chik there

anaes

today's my 3rd day of anaesthesiology.

it has been interesting. but i feel sleepy all the time watching others go to sleep.

takde mase nak update blog.

one more day of ophthal

it's amazing how your emotions can go tospsy turvy, up and down and round and round.

i'm feeling very happy today (and it has nothing to do with valentine's day... which loser actually celebrates that?)

i have chosen to not become emotional anymore (while it lasts) and not take to heart of other people's actions. to dwell in hurt and frustration is like "menggenggam bara api", the longer u hold on to it, the more u get burnt. these words are posted on my wall to remind me everyday. dah lame dah. me je yg tak bace.

so, i have let go of my bara api. life is too short anyway for grudges.

anyways, i have to finish up my ophthalmology e-logbook to submit tomorrow. we have to include our comments on this posting. interesting. i'll post mine up tomorr when i'm done with it.

k, pray that i can answer the 30-minute OSCE quetions tomorrow. ur prayers always helps :)

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hmm, the general elections are just around the corner. i'm glad i get to vote. last month when i checked my voter status it was unavailable. i thot i wud've missed this year's voting. that would just be terrible. alhamdulillah they've processed my info and i can go back to johor to vote for some politician in DUN skudai and Parlimen gelang patah... hmm.

DE-STRESSING

I guess if we have high expectations, then we are at risk of getting hurt when it doesn’t turn out the way we want it to be. It’s easier to not feel at all, but then we won’t feel happy too.

I should’ve learnt that from past experiences with people. Getting your hopes up can be bad for you when it doesn’t happen the way you want it to. You’re the one feeling sad and frustrated in the end. At least, if you don’t hope for something, then when you get it, you’ll be happy.

(i.e. when people don’t send you postcards… hehe… Ramzi, you’ll send me one from Aussie nanti kan)

I’m not really the social type who has many friends but the ones that I do befriend, I hold on to very dearly. I don’t really share much about personal stories except with the very (x100) close ones. Friendship is not a one-sided thing. It takes two people working at it for it to flourish. Some people you know all your life but you’re not close to them and some people you’ve just met and it’s as if you’ve known each other forever. Maintenance is important. How? Just a simple message once in a while or making a little extra effort to show that you care is enough to uplift one’s spirits.

I guess I thought that when I invest in my friend by going personal, she would do the same. My bad. Never assume. It’s bad for the health.

It may seem inappropriate for me to be making a fuss out of a simple negligence on my friend’s part (whether intentional or unintentional) to share her wondrous news with me, but my injured heart cannot be persuaded by my rational mind (mainly becoz of my neurotic nature or menses yang tak datang2). It’s a big deal to me. My friend didn’t think that I would want to be happy for her. Now, its’ not gonna be the same. “why didn’t see tell me?” keeps ringing loud and clear in my head.

An apologetic SMS doesn’t really help.

I was fuming the whole afternoon. I just had to let out some of this frustration.

So the following were my let-outs;

1. A yummy chocolate chip ice cream cone
2. A delicious peanut butter & chocolate waffle.
3. Jogging at taman Bandar with Faizah Amir and pouring my steaming heart out (she’s a terribly good comforter…hehe)
4. Calling up kak yung, nibah and kak chik
5. Sending SMS’s to my friends yang dah lame tak message
6. Mengumpat dengan my roommate (she’s more neurotic than me, hehe)
7. Writing this thing

According to kakyung and my roommate, my hurt is justified. Cool.

Moral of the story:

Appreciate your family and friends. If they can bear with you during your monthly psychotic phases, then it is worth going the extra mile for them too!

soothing clips for the soul

it hurts

one will become an optometrist,
one will become an audiologist
and one will become a person who refers patients to both of them,
insyaAllah.

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what if someone whom u considered as one of your best friends in this world didn't tell you about the greatest news ever in her life.

i guess that someone didn't think you important enough to tell u.

and when u asked her about it, she says i meant to tell u the last time u called.

the point is, that she didn't.

it hurts deep down.

yet i know she doesn't read this.

ophthalmology

i'm actually in ophthalmology now. next week is my 2nd and final week. i just had 3 days of ophthal last week becoz of the chinese new year break. i'm glad for the break but sad because we have less time at the clinic.

last week i was trying my best to learn how to use an ophthalmoscope. after many futile attempts, i managed to see the blood vessels clearly and then view the optic disc. the moment was priceless. it was a bit easy using my dominant right eye but when i had to use only my left eye, mula la facial muscles cringe and contract. but i've gotto practice a lot more.

i dunno about other people but it definitely tires me out when using a fundoscopy becoz i have to restrict my breathing due to the close proximity. dah la banyak energy spent on trying to focus the lens and also keeping the other eye shut. i end up exhausted after doing the procedure on just one patient. and i'm required to do it on 10 patients.

i'm definitely not taking up ophthalmology.

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in this posting, we have oncalls because we have to cover the patients in the ward. so everynite, me and 2 of my groupmates have to find a transport to go home.

there are 6 of us in my group. 2 bros and 4 sis. 3 have cars; both the bros and 1 sis. the irony of it all is that half of the group have cars but still the rest of the group cannot rely on them. why? because one is married, the other is senyap and keeps to himself and the last one is senyap too and keeps to herself. so the three of us yang don't have cars have to ask the 3rd one because she's a sister, yes?

of course we asked her. but she's unpredictable. there was one time when she agreed to give us a ride and then after being scolded by a lecturer in the clinic, she was upset and asked us to find another ride. fortunately for us, we cud ask the other guy.

another incident was when, my friends were relying on her to go back to the hostel but she forgot all about them. the unmarried guy pulak is always somewhat reluctant to give us a lift jadi malu nak mintak kat dia banyak2 kali.

after those incidents, we tried to be independant by borrowing other people's cars.

it's just sad.

a prog with kelab brosismik

dayah kept complaining that we always speak of our many members but when they are called to help out during programs, the numbers seemingly disappear. so since me, sibah and faizah are not that busy during this specialized posting, we decided to offer our helping hand in KRJ's program.

it was interesting to interact with the kids. i remember my program-going days at school. klaka je beria amek contact number sume fasilitator. bukan contact pun. orang lain amek so i amek jugak. rase macam celebrity je when the kids asked for our signatures and contact numbers.

a few senior students who have joined KRJ's programs and wanted more people to join so they came up with the club "teenagers BROSISMIK" which stands for brothers and sisters islamic. hehe.

the ice-breaking session

the high-spirited kids

macam2 idea budak2 ni

barisan fasilitator

the lovely girls

A trip to the zoo

Gathering at kak yung's house has been wonderful. Since we didn't have much planned, we went to Pak Andak's house in Klang and then had a half-day trip to the zoo. Kak ngah also came along with her kids.

We went out early so that there wouldn't be much of a crowd yet. The roads were clear. When we arrived at the zoo, we entered first and waited for kak ngah to come. Nawaz wasn't was in a daze. Macam takde perasaan je tengok the animals. We were more excited than he was. We knew he'd be more excited with aisyah around so we waited for them before we proceeded further.

When aisyah and ayyasy came, nawaz was all hyped up and we were all excited again.

nawaz still in a daze

we wore ayah's golf caps. good thing he has plenty stored in his car.

walking around the zoo

nawaz and aisyah looking at the deers

lil' munchkin the tiger
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i've been terribly gerrrrrram with nawaz coz he can't say 'mak yang'.

he can say
'ah-cheek',
'ah-teh',
'ah-mad',
'ah-tok'
but not 'mak yang'.

he repeats every word without fail except that one. memang bias btol budak tuh. just becoz i see him once in a blue moon, he can't pronounce my name. gerrrrammm sangat.

and then suddenly, out of the blue, he says.... 'yan'.

okey la tu. close enuf for me.

the award giving ceremony

last friday evening, there was a session to present the distinction trophy to my groupmate Azamani. since he's the 1st guy to get a distinction for the past 3 years, all the ortho surgeons were very happy. i tumpang gembira coz he's my small groupmate.

hungry faces.

nasib sempoi je doctor2 n takde speech. terus dpt makan. best2.

my ortho group

"i would like to thank my cool supervisor for all the guidance and moral support he gave throughhout the posting..."

rakan suka dan dukaku

the whole group

last day of ENT

last friday was the last day of ENT so we had a viva to se what we have learnt throughout the 2-week posting.

there were 3 lecturers who were available to take the viva; dr kahairi, dr sayuti and dr amin. there were 6 of us so we drew lots. me and arep got dr amin.

i've never followed dr amin's clinic before so i dunno how he is. rase berdebar jugak.

apparently he was very nice. he asked which structure i wanted to be asked about. i said ear or nose. throat macam susah je.

he attended to a patient 1st. the dr did an otoscope then he asked me to do it. all i could see was inflammation of the external auditory canal. i couldn't see the tympanic membrane properly. he asked me to use a smaller one. tak nampak jugak. so he connected the otoscope to a camera n video. only then could i see a perforated tympanic membrane. he asked me to describe it. he wasn't really listening to my answers and was attending to the patient. when the patient had gone, he asked me about the facial nerve. i knew it had 4 components but tak ingat the 2nd motor component. dr gave clues until i could answer. ok, good.. good.. he said.

he asked so many detailed and basic questions, i kene absence kejap. in the clinic i saw lots of otitis externa and otitis media and tympanic membrane perforations so i am a bit well-versed with the external and middle ear. the inner ear part macam tak cover sangat. the dr had to ask me about that one. about the cochlear's endolymph and perilymph. i was like OMG, tak tau nak hentam ape. my knowledge was so superficial. i guessed my way thru and alhamdulillah Allah helped. i answered correctly.

then dr asked about presbyacusis and noise-induced hearing loss. i know that they have high frequency hearing loss. he asked me to explain the pathophysiology. alamak! i tau high frequency is recieved by the base of the cochlear. tu je i tau. then dr explained. he also asked 10 causes of conductive hearing loss. i hot

then he asked about the nose. before he could ask i asked if icould tell him about nasopharyngeal carcinoma. dah bace sket2 tajuk tu. he let me describe it 1st then gave me a clinical scenario. tu yg susah tu.

the he remembered that there was another student he had to take for viva too and asked me to call him. when arep entered the room i asked if i my session was over. he said "duduklah dulu. if ur friend cannot answer then, u answer for him". well, as long as its his turn, it was ok with me so i sat again. susah jugak arep's questions. some i could answer, some i couldn't.

then, after a few rounds of questions he said, "ok, both of u passed."

yay! that was a very interesting and educating viva session. hehe. sedih dah habis ENT.

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i asked dr wan islah why he chose ENT. he said he wanted a specialisation in which he could still play football and have a life. interesting!

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posing with the cool head lamp.
boleh tengok tekak n hidung org dgn jelas.

i had to hold it coz longgar sgt ikut head circumference dr raja. kalau adjust nanti dr perasan karang ada org tamper with it hehe

last ENT OT day.
lepas ni masuk OT for anaes n ophthal pulak