ponderings of this morning

"First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win."

That's the thought for today Dr Khurshid started with. Hmm, it took me several minutes to comprehend the meaning behind it. Criticism builds!

initially people take no notice of you thinking that you are an unworthy opponent. then when they see you do something they mock you. when they realize you are indeed someone to be reckoned with they begin to fight with you and make your life hard. But by that time, you'd already had a headstart and YOU WIN, yay!

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i think there's some infectious agent circulating around here. there's been an aura of sickness and unwellness since last week. you only begin to notice things when you start experiencing them. i've been having some sorta change in my voice since yesterday (i'd rather call my voice husky than hoarse coz that sounds much better). i've noticed that i've been clearing my throat more frequently. so has Azza. kak farah has been having the flu since last week. azza's condition is kinda worseing. she's sneezing all over the place (exaggeration). and this morning fatin has full blown aphonia (loss of voice).

i think it might be some sorta laryngitis. but i have no fever, only generalized malaise (weakness and lethargy) and also headahces and myalgia (muscle pain) at the back of the nack and upper shoulders.. hmm, my throat does seem a bit sore. i can guess what the consequent symptoms would be. i just hope they'll be over and done with as soon as possible.

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today's my 4th day of my puasa 6. another two to go. i've been fasting nonstop since last week to make sure that i'll be able to complete all 6 days. in previous years, i use to hold on to the hukum that you can combine two or three niats in one fasting but now i have a different view,

according to hadith researches and gurus, there are two opinions regarding this two-in-one or three-in-one fastings. the first group who says it is permissible have a very poor explanation and it's not really authentic. the 2nd group says that it is not permissible since there is no dalil regarding this matter in the sunnah. i prefer the latter opinion.

so what to do? replace all the missed days to complete the ramadhan fast first and then continue with the 6-days of syawal.. it seems difficult but the again, one has to go back and check their imaan. if one is unable to complete it in time, then let's leave Allah is the best judge of intentions and fromHim is the Reward.

if i don't start practising this now, i might never start. so, another 2 days to go then.

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the fourth years are having their exams today and tomorrow. how does that affect me? well, two seniours came to borrow a mechanical pencil, then another borrowed a liquid paper, then a sweater, and also my watch. i'm glad to be of service really. it's just funny how people just remember these things on the morning of the exams.

huh, i laugh now, but then again, i go through it as well.

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hmm, what's all this about the wahabbi threat. these people don't know what they're talking about. ape lah derang nih, suke hati jeh komplen about something they're unsure of. the bottomline is IGNORANCE. dah lame kaji konon, this guy claims, huh, his reasearch is superficial and not yet extensive. either that or he's made up his mind in the beginning and refuses to see the real truth.

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i realise that blogs were never meant to be private and those who do indulge in them enter the borderless world at their own risk. but, having your classmates read your worthless and nonsensical rantings is INDEED EMBARASSING (i know, i know, i shouldn't be wasting my time here). i was wondering whether i should be deterred and end it all while i still can, following the footsteps of the others.

hmm, on second thought, this is my sanity maintainer and my let out place. i have so much scattered thoughts that i must write them down in fear of losing my mind. some of them might even be worthwhile or meaningful although 90% are pure ramblings. i don't really mind as long as i know who reads them. then i'll know to what extent and the type of stuff i can write about. so, peeps, do inform me, ya!