you don't have to read this entry.
i just want to ventilate so that i can regain my concentration and restore my peace of mind.
just now, we had a class on medical law by Dr Akram, IIUM's legal advisor. it was a very interesting lecture on the importance of doctors knowing the legal aspect of their practice so that they can treat patients effectively (and cover their backs too while their at it). the psychiatric nurse-cum-lawyer was very energetic and explained eloquently on the matter that everyone was wide awake through most of the lecture.
what i am furious about is what happened in between the lecture, during the 10 minute break.
the batch leader, who most kindly checked all of our forms which were to be submitted to the MMC and MMH, had found several forms which were incomplete. so he went in front an exclaimed his frustration with my batchmates who had been inconsiderate by submitting the deficient forms so he had to return them.
in order to return the lacking forms, he he went on to mention the names of the my friends who had been so thoughtless as to have done that. everyone had their fingers crossed and worried whether his or her name would be called and whether they were among the thoughtless people who had not completed the tedious form requirements.
when the first name was called, i saw from her body language (the way she walked to the front and resposnded) that she was defensive. who wouldn't be? the first thought that came to my mind was, what did she do wrong? i felt empathic and knew that if that had happened to me, i would feel the same way too. but at the same time, i also thought, may be he was so tired and stressed out with everyone's incompetence that he saw no other way to return the forms to the owners which would be less degrading or humiliating.
the next person called was one of my best friends. again, i was empathic but it was still not the same. after several other names, my name was called. huh? what did i do wrong? what was not complete? i asked my friend to check. i had submitted the form 2 days ago. the batch leader who is also in my posting could have returned it to me personally. i met him this morning. i started to fume with anger. the forms were left on the table in front and i couldnt get it until the end of the lecture.
the next 15 minutes of lecture, i couldnt concetrate because i was going through the possibilities of what i did wrong and all the less humiliating methods that he could have used to return the forms. surprisingly, all the names were girls. i guess the guys' forms which were not completed could be returned directly to them sparing their names from being called.
i know, you think i'm over reacting to this extremely small matter. so what if my name was called? so what if i had not completed the forms? why make such a big deal.
everyone wants to look good in front of others. mistakes or errors should not be publicly announced. it is okay to say something in general but when specific names are mentioned, then it makes someone look bad in front of others. although it was unintentional, it was demeaning nonetheless.
there are many hadiths stating how the prophet would go to great lengths to save the face and honour of his sahabah. when one sahabah farted, he got up to renew his wudhu' too.
i tried to concentrate on the lecture but i had to use so much extra energy to distract my thoughts from my anger that i became tired after a while. i nearly felt like crying. it doesn't help when you have a haze in your left eye, which is a temporary complication of the PRK causing light to be scattered. i had a left-sided headache from too much concentration.
i tried to convince myself that it was nothing. when the lecture ended and i looked through my form, several people asked me with concern, what was not complete? i made the mistake of actually giving one copy of the photostated forms instead of two.
it's just not the same thing when you're the name that is called.
ironically, the previous lecture did include defamation and how everyone has the right to a good name and honour. any act or word that may destroy or reduce this good name in any form, resulting in sane, responsible people or the society thinking bad of that person, can be sued under defamation. (i'm not a lawyer, forgive my deficiency in knowledge of legal terms).
moral of the story, be sensitive. if you protect people's honour as best as you can, inshaAllah, Allah will protect yours too.
7 comments:
that wasnt over react, dear. i wud probably feel the same too if i were u. jaga maruah org lain, so that maruah kita akan dijaga juga di 'sana'
miss reading blogs.. baru lepas final. happy sgt. pray 4me ek
anyone would be embarrassed. why the double standard? surely the guys would also be embarrassed if their names were called.
a leader should show more restraint in terms of public display of irkness!
hehe, i'm too histrionic. sedih sket je tapi outburst nya lebih2 hehe. but that's the point of this blog isnt it. for me to ventilate or i would've made it public.
slalu rase malu je bace what i've written but thats how i felt at that time. good thing i was able to convey the message to him rationally and devoid of all emotions.
i know he was under a lot of stress with the near exams and people adding to his burden and making his work harder than it should be. semalam jadi obsessive sket and touchy.
thanx for siding with me anyways :)
oh...the issue flared up badly. i'm not trying to be biased to anyone, but let's put some consideration on both parties gak.
i think he got all swollen up coz he has to do all the job alone kot. perhaps he also considered the length of time given to complete the form was quite long, but still some errors were done. i saw him checking the form last night, alone. and it consumed lots of his time ( that's why he fumed up gak kot).with regard to double standard isssue, he may approach bro directly, but he was not able to do so for the whole batch of sisters. but calling out names in the front was not appropriate la jugak, unless u managed to put it into a proper words in the first place.
i would regard this incident as a norms of life la. take it positively, as exams are really around the corner. i hav to acknowledge that everyone's emotion is very labile and volatile during this time (self reminder to me not to lepas ckp je pasnih,hahaha).
good luck for the exams. all the best to you.
i was thinking of the same thing mase tuh... pasal defamation thingy and how he managed to announced only the girls' names...boleh je nak paskan borang sisters kat wakil sorg... tapi mungkin die stress n die dah mintak maaf pn. tapi my name wasn't called, and if my name were to be called i would probably have a massive outburst of anger... tau jelakan, panas baran aku ni kan..
if it were of any comfort to you awla, i know you are a responsible person. and the people whose names were called pun kita dah kenal bertanggungjawab ataupun tidak...so mase tu lebih rase konfius as to why he chose to announce the names...
good luck for PRO exam... semoga kita semua lulus dengan cemerlang=)
i guess its easy to be non-biased and see things from both sides when you're on the fence. i was pushed to the other side and couldn't see past it. and being the dramatic me, i had to ventilate my emotions. that's my coping mechanism.
anyways, i understand the workload and stress that he has had to shoulder, and i felt okay again when he said he apologised and said he didn't mean to do it.
i just wanted to point out that our actions may have certain implications on others. but that shouldnt prevent us from doing anything at all. just have a little bit of consideration.
hehe shidah, tu la kite ingat dah cukup lengkap dah kite isi borang, ada tertinggal rupenya haha. your comments are comforting ;)
lorrr..kte ingat kte sorang yg rase terukkk sangatttt..x tau nak nyorok muka kat ne..kte masuk lecture hall lmbt sket so x dengar sangat awal2..datang2 name kena panggil melulu dtg depan hu hu wat muka toye..kte tengok awak cool je masa 2..
Post a Comment