overwhelming popularity

I never would have thought that I’d ever be in the position I am in now. Not in a hundred years. Not ever. I’m not referring to the SRC post although it has everything to do with my current situation. It’s practically the main reason behind this situation I’m facing.

What situation you ask?

It’s my sudden popularity with those having XY genes since the SRC poster came out. It’s never been like this before. I’ve never been through anything even close. Before, I was just known among the girls. They either really like me or hate me. Extreme betul dunia nih. Well, sekarang ni takdela popular mane but it’s a new experience for me. It’s rather overwhelming really.3 guys have already asked to get to know me within a span of 6 weeks. Wow, that’s an average of 1 guy every fortnight. (haha… just exaggerating). It’s just so weird. 3 totally different types of guys; a law student, someone who had a course in UIA Gombak and just happened to see the poster, and a teacher who teaches at a school near to UIA.

I don’t understand what could have motivated them to even try? They only had a face to start with. A plain-looking, average, dark-skinned specky. You cannot tell much from a face. I guess u don’t lose much by messaging a total stranger and starting out from scratch. So if that person rejects you, then you don’t lose face. You hardly know that person. No harm done. The you-don’t- know-me-but-I-got-ur-number-from-a-poster thingy is kinda getting old. Penat pulak nak layan. I’m not entertaining any more unfamiliar numbers after this. Selama ni takut it was people I know but have changed numbers or friends’ numbers that I don’t have. I should know better in future.

I guess all the other SRC members face this problem also but why do I have to face it too? Maybe I don’t have a one-look-at-her-must-get-her-number face but more of a one-look-at-her-must-get to-know-her especially since her number is already posted for the world to see. Niebah reminded me that she told me before that I should have given another number. Yeah, like I have one. That would be too tedious to manage. Furthermore, I’ve never had this problem before. As flattering as it may seem, it does disturb my peace of mind. Other people may encounter this on a daily basis, but not me. Niebah and kak chik are used to people approaching them everyday. This thing’s new to me.

All of this is so bizarre. Since primary school, guys have been afraid of me (I prefer to think of it as respect but I know that’s plain delusional). I’m not really the type that guys fall head over heels for. I’ve worked with a lot of guys but they’re just my colleagues. Not more that that. I consider it a good thing. It would have interfered in my work and then where would I be?

Why now?

I don’t know. I guess Allah knows that this is my most relaxed posting and I have abundant time on my hands to be thinking. If all this happened during O&G, I dunno how I would’ve reacted to all this.

I think all of this is also ayah’s doing. He’s been praying too vigorously for me and my sisters to get suitors and now look what’s happening. Ayah’s exact words: “Ayah penat2 doakan untuk korang, korang tau reject je”. Hehe, apela ayah ni. Camtu pulak ayah fikir.
What would be really cool is if someone read something I wrote, actually liked it, became interested in me, doesn’t mind how I look, took a great big leap and asked to get to know me through the proper channel? That my friend would be really daring. If fairy tales could come true, this would prolly happen. But then again, you never know. It just might have happened.
I hope i don’t get anymore fans. Mengacau hidup aje. I can’t wait for my SRC tenure to end. I can’t stand it anymore.

Ya Allah, macam2 ujian-Mu ke atas ku. Tabahkan lah aku ya Allah and guide me through this period.

p.s. Ayah doesn’t like my campurization. In the past, a friend of mine ‘tegur’ and I argued with him about it. I was adamant with my stance. Since ayah’s the one who mentioned it this time, I’ll try to speak and write proper in future. He says it’ll spoil both my English and Bahasa and then I won’t be proficient in either one.

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Reminder to self and friends:

You are on the road to success…
When you realize that failure is only a detour.

Failure is something I cannot afford. It’s too expensive to breach the scholarship contract with JPA and 7 years is long enough as it is. Any extension would be too much for me to bear.
I really salute my friends who have gone through failure and bounce back up stronger and more determined than ever. Tabahnya! For some people, failure is a life-changing event. It’s the turning point of their lives. Allah knows best what everyone has to go through in order for them to become the best person they can be.

It’s not how low you fall but how high you bounce back after that fall.

I’m not sure I’m strong enough to face that situation so it is a big driving force for me during exam times. But if at any point in my life, I do fail, then ya Allah, please help me through it.